John offers highlights of his newly released book on personal branding and shares his personal mantra. He reflects on the most profound lessons from his professional journey, emphasizing the importance of mentorship and how to cultivate effective mentor relationships. John articulates the importance of embracing risk and provides advice on coalescing diverse perspectives to achieve alignment.
John offers highlights of his newly released book on personal branding and shares his personal mantra. He reflects on the most profound lessons from his professional journey, emphasizing the importance of mentorship and how to cultivate effective mentor relationships. John articulates the importance of embracing risk and provides advice on coalescing diverse perspectives to achieve alignment.
greetings. I'm David Kong, the founder and principal of DEI Advisors. We are a nonprofit organization dedicated to personal empowerment. Today, I'm delighted to welcome John Farid. He is the global chairman of Horvath HDL. John is also a very accomplished speaker, much sought after, I must say, and also a bestseller. We're delighted to have you, John.
John Fareed:I'm delighted to be here, David. I'm very proud and honored having done you some years as both the client and a great friend. And I love everything that you're doing with DEI. So thank you for this opportunity.
David Kong:Thanks very much, John. John you just released your new book from Invisible to Icon, how to become a non expert in your industry. It draws upon your years of experience and also your life journey. I had a chance to preview the book. I loved it. Absolutely loved it. It's insightful, it's actionable, and it's chock full of wisdom. I highly recommend it to anyone who is on the path of defining their personal brand. Would you mind to share some highlights of this book?
John Fareed:No, absolutely. It does share my personal and professional journey, and how I Worked my way from US Marine to professional magician performing in casinos on cruise ships and in nightclubs such as the famed Magic Castle in Hollywood to become an international hotel consultant, global chair of. Yeah, it's been a long journey and it's one that I could not have made without utilizing the power of personal branding as well as some business lessons from friends like you and others. So that's essentially the book, but it does detail. In addition to my story, all of the learnings over the last, I would say, 30 years as it relates to that in the areas of personal branding that I recommend individuals focus on who wish to achieve greater success in their industry.
David Kong:Tell us more about the personal branding that you refer to.
John Fareed:Sure. Personal branding is the crafting and management of your identity so that it stimulates precise, meaningful perceptions about who you are, what you stand for, and what you do. And I always tell people if you have any goals or dreams for your life right now. Then you have a personal brand already. You just may not be managing it or developing and managing it to its best and highest value. So this is what we talk about now.
David Kong:How do you create a more valuable personal brand?
John Fareed:I think you have to take all considerations in, just like corporate or product and services branding. Okay. There is a process for developing a personal brand. It's one that I outlined in the book. Essentially here, we don't have time to go through the whole thing, but hopefully that can whet people's appetite about it. But it starts with identifying your key attributes, the things that are uniquely you. When I think of four words that are uniquely an individual, for instance if I was thinking of a lady or a wonderful woman, who's an icon. And I told people, she's organized, creative, anal, and intimidating. Almost everyone says, you're talking about Martha Stewart. And I'm like, yeah, that's exactly it. And to be able to identify yourself in four words, Or more powerfully have someone else identify you in four words is a unique neat, a unique thing these days and usually powerful. But I would say it starts with identifying your key attributes. Next is to think about your brand packaging. And this is a simple way to say, knowing today that we live in this knowledge based economy. Where we all make decisions about one another in an instant, David, based on our own, personal experiences and observations of people and society in general. It's important to take some time and think about how you choose to package yourself. In other words, how people might perceive you and your clothing. Or accessories or your jewelry, your hair, your makeup, your, your teeth, your nails, your glasses, or contacts, even your fragrance. Or today I talk about tattoos and piercings. Where are they? What are they? What do they mean? But even your, even the home that you live in the car, you drive in your workspace or office. All shape perceptions about you. And that's what we mean when we say in terms of brand packaging that I speak about in the book as part of the process. And then finally, it comes down to a brand description and I would say some long term goals around how you want to take your key attributes, which includes your own value system, how you choose to set yourself up. Some of your brand packaging, your brand description about who you are and what you do and what I would say is your leading traits, which is those value systems and the things that your strengths, the things that you're really good at your style, your timeliness, your manner. All of those things together and combine them with your long term goals to determine how you wish to position yourself, right? Becomes a mission statement, so to speak, becomes your touchstone for decision making in the future about how you wish to position yourself in the minds Your spouse or partner, your family, your friends, colleagues, your clients and customers or industry or even community in general.
David Kong:Thanks for sharing that highlight. I know a lot of people are very interested in defining the personal brand. Your book really provides very helpful and actionable way to doso. It's very comprehensive. Thanks for sharing that. Now you talk about the value system earlier. I was just wondering, do you have a set of guiding principles or personal mantra that have guided you and your decisions?
John Fareed:I do. I've been very fortunate, Dave. I've had a lot of mentors in my life. But one of the things that I adopted for myself early on was to be open in all things, be lucky in all things. I had to be open to going into the military as opposed to my preconceived ideas about it. I enjoyed the Marines very much. I knew I wanted to be a performer and ended up working in magic again. I had to be open in that. And even later on when a friend or a colleague told me that would be good in hotel consulting I had to be open to that idea and I decided to jump in, but that's one of my big ones is be open in all things, be lucky in all things. And then, There's this great motivational speaker called His name is Charlie Tremendous Jones. He's written a lot of books. He sold millions of copies of books. But he told me something through a friend after reading the book that essentially five years from now, you will be the same person that you are today, but for the books you read and the people you meet. So I'm an avid readers. You can say I have stacks of books behind me as I see that you do as well, but I'm a voracious reader. I feel like the only thing that helped me get into or become a success in magic was reading magic books. And the same is true. Most of everything I learned. When I got started in hotel consulting was from books, how to start a consulting practice, how to start your own business and all the basics of the hospitality industry in the beginning. So I'm a voracious reader and I'd like to meet as many people as possible. As I go to just about every conference in our industry to meet the players and ask them questions. I will say there's one other thing I'd like to share. I don't know if talk to you or not. But he was a great friend and mentor for many years. He was senior vice president of development for hostmark hospitality for years and. He taught me many things because we traveled to Egypt on assignments and other places, but he taught me that he said for read a person who control who who, I'm sorry, I'm going to, I'm going to reword that a person who talks dominates the conversation. A person who asks questions controls the conversation. And I've always thought that was just such a great quote from Beth. And it makes me think when I'm sitting in front of somebody. Unlike this arrangement where you're asking me questions, I would be much more comfortable asking you questions to try to control the conversation a little better. So I feel a little fish out of water here.
David Kong:That's great advice. Thank you for sharing that. Now, along with your personal mantra, can you share your greatest learning in your career?
John Fareed:Wow. My greatest learning. I think my greatest learning, if I had to put my finger on it, was to never stop reading, never stop learning, never stop the education process and keep moving forward in your mind, in your intellect again. I'm a voracious reader, I would say more than the greatest learning was a great opportunity that I got presented again being open and all things be lucky and all things discussion David in that I got invited through to speak in Dublin, Ireland. And I met a wonderful gentleman by the name of Alex Gibson. And he was a professor at the college at the time. It was DIT, the Dublin Institute of technology. Now it's TU, which is technology, technological university of Dublin. But after my speech, he's showing me around Dublin and we would go by his campus. And I said, Oh, I would love to go to college. Cause I never went to college. And, I feel like I really missed out. And he told me, he said based on your experience and accomplishments, they might accept you in the graduate program. And I was dumbfounded. And I, again, back to that, be open in all things, be lucky in all things. I literally put together an application and sent it to three different universities to apply for their master's programs. And I got in, To two other countries, but I chose Ireland out of deference for Alex. And I ended up getting to press two postgrads, including a master of science and hospitality management. And for me, I think that lesson, that business lesson was a way to take down the walls and fences of what I had put on my own self about the fact that I would maybe never have a college or never have an opportunity to go back to school without. Going for 4 more years for an undergrad first. And I've applied that to several other things in my life where I used to be a sole practitioner before I joined with Horvath HTL. And I didn't know if I would be If they would be happy to have me or not, but I started thinking differently after that experience. And I think that's probably my greatest business lesson is not to make assumptions and not put Fences or walls in front of yourself, but to it never hurts to ask or try
David Kong:Such an important lesson for all of us. I think you alluded to that in your book as well, and I've always found that to be tremendous advice because we have a way of thinking about ourselves and sometimes we set hurdles and boundaries which are artificial and we should be more open minded like you have.
John Fareed:I completely agree.
David Kong:You talked about mentors earlier and the importance of it and how you've benefited from those relationships. Would you mind to share your advice on how one can go about finding mentors and how one should go about working with mentors?
John Fareed:From my own experience, I think mentors are found every day in your life. I recently had an opportunity to visit my home town for my birthday. And for dinner I invited my drama teacher from high school. He'd been a great mentor and my football coach for dinner in the same night, as well as two, two great neighbors that were mentors for me as a child. And we had a wonderful dinner. But I got to thank them for all their mentorship and guidance through many years, because it didn't stop at grade school or high school, or even later, we've maintained these relationships. So I think it starts with 1 identifying the mentor opportunities. And those are usually done in a, I would say they present themselves almost without effort, meaning someone begins to offer you advice or show caring. Much like this hockey spoke about, you don't have to ask for help. He's going to help you and he's going to give you advice, whether you want it or not, it's up to me, however, to build on that relationship and treasure that relationship and hold on to it and continue to go back to the well, because. Once you find a very good mentor and someone who does care about you genuinely and does want to help you, it becomes on you to tap into that and dip into that well. And it, it comes about in all shapes and sizes from people like Mike Levin. I worked with Mike launching Hawthorne, Enzo suites, the best that, Mike very well. And Mike was the guy who became a mentor within 10 minutes of meeting him. He was just that kind of guy. And we stayed connected for years, even when, he was in Vegas, in a very unique position in Las Vegas within SANS Corp. I would have breakfast with him in his office. But again, I would go back to the well and ask him questions and ask for his assistance and advice and it was there. But I know for a fact I would be nowhere had it not been for mentors showing interest in me, me understanding that there's an opportunity and then building and developing those long standing relationships or mentoring opportunities.
David Kong:Yeah, I agree with you. Those mentorships opportunities come organically and we have to realize that they're presenting themselves. We have to capitalize on it and we can continue to seek out that advice from those mentors. Talk about advice. What is the best advice you've ever received?
John Fareed:The best advice I ever received. There, there's so many there's so many to choose from. But I think that, I think the biggest one was I used to, and this happened in the Marines. So in the Marines, I was an ammunitions tech and I marked, I worked my way up to EOD explosive ordnance disposal as we do in ammo techs. And I used to take it so seriously. from a job perspective. And I had this great master sergeant. His name was Carter actually. And every time I would get nervous or upset, he's we're just blowing stuff up. We're not saving babies. This isn't saving babies. We're all going to go out tonight. We're going to get dinner. It's going to be fine. And I think I play that back and forth in my head. Anytime I get like before a keynote or an important meeting or some expert witness or litigation support, or I'm about to testify, I was going, we're not saving babies. This is going to be over and I'll do a great job and it'll be okay. That's one. Another one is to remember that we're all just people trying to do our best. And try to see everyone, even when you're feeling like they're, you're being, how do I put this? People are presenting some opposition to you, let's say, and you're becoming defensive. Try to stop seeing them as a problem and start seeing them as people. Meaning look through their eyes, smile at them. Don't get upset. Take three deep breaths. Try to understand where they're coming from, and mediate the situation on your own. And I think that's another big piece of advice that I got that's really been helpful for me.
David Kong:That is such wonderful advice. I love that. Because in our career, we all have to deal with the naysayers. People are going to disagree with us. You have to expect that, right? We are brought up differently. We Have different education and people are going to think differently than us. How do you deal with that? In your role as a global chair for a very big consultancy, no doubt all day long, you're dealing with diverse opinions about how to do something. How do you coalesce those diverse opinions and turn that into something that's really positive and constructive and a path that everyone can agree to?
John Fareed:Yeah this goes back to that, that mediation idea. I think that what people are looking for from a leader today is really as much to act as a mediator. Yes, sometimes you give direction and it has to be strong and it has to be solid. David, you know that. But other times there may be some difference of opinion in terms of direction or. Brand elements for Horath HTL with the marketing team, and I think what's important is that you give everybody an opportunity to get, I do, at least this is how I operate, I want to get all opinions out, give everybody a chance to divest themselves of their thoughts. So that they feel heard and listened to. I often repeat back. Okay. So what I hear you saying is this so that they know that I've heard them. And if there is a big, vast difference, what I do is often try to say what can we do that's more in the middle between the two of you or between the two groups that would bring us to some kind of even better conclusion than we're talking about, because clearly people are concerned if we go in this direction that it's not going to be optimum, but others feel strongly about the other direction. So how do we find that middle ground together? And what would that look like? And it changes things because it gets people building the sandcastle together as opposed to pouring buckets of water on each other. So to speak, but that's typically what I do. But at some point, even if there's. A big differentiation in the opinions sooner or later, you have to make the call, you have to make the call. But I would say that together we are so much more stronger, intelligent. Then we are individually and I've learned so much, Corweth is over a hundred years old as an HTL advisory firm. And most of my colleagues there have been in the industry for many years, 30, some of them 40 years, and they bring a lot of maturity and expertise and culture. From all of the countries. We're nearly 60 countries. So everybody's got a different sense of place and geography and challenges because it's different countries and rules and economies. And again, back to cultures. So I think I've learned a lot, but I've certainly learned about patience and mediation and trying to accommodate everybody.
David Kong:I think those are the key words, patience and mediation. I have similar experience, as you well know. I find that when you go into conversation, respecting that the folks around the table are experienced and knowledgeable, and they bring something to the table, you're going to be much more willing to listen to them. And then once you practice your active listening skills. And you invite him to speak, and then you paraphrase what he just said. When those people feel like they have been heard, they are much more willing to listen to you. But if you don't allow them a chance to get things off their chest, they're immediately going to think about, I'm against this idea from the get go because you didn't even listen to what I have to say. So that's really good advice that you just gave. All right. no doubt we've all encountered setbacks and disappointments. Can you share how you find the strength and resilience rebound from them?
John Fareed:I'm sure. We've all had situations where things didn't turn out exactly the way that we wanted, and we had to pick ourselves up and keep moving for from my perspective I hate to say this, but I'm usually a pessimist outwardly, I'm an absolute optimist, and everybody thinks that money in my own head. I'm a pessimist and I'm an introvert. I have to work very diligently to go into a cocktail party and stay there. I'm good on stage, great on stage. I can do that. But once you put me in the cocktail party, I'm not so good. The same is true in terms of being a cheerleader for others. I'm very optimistic, but when it comes to my own. I'm hugely pessimistic. So usually I'm expecting that things are not going to go my way. And I'm always surprised when they do. And I think that's part of a self defense mechanism and that I won't be too disappointed if it doesn't go my way. But I will say over the years. I've encountered what I thought were failures only to find out later that they pushed me in a new direction. You know the old saying a door closes a window opens and there's some absolute truth to that. Probably my biggest obstacle or I would say disappointment was having made it so far in the world of magic to perform at the best clubs and cruise lines and in Vegas and whatnot, and then realizing that I've taken myself as far as I can go in the field, David. I'm never going to be a David Copperfield so to speak, because he could have been, if David could do anything, he could have been a movie star, a TV star, whatnot, and then deciding that I was going to pivot to something new and get into hotel consulting. I think it's my way of handling disappointments. I think I, I tend to pivot. And then, okay, what's next? What's the next thing that I didn't do well at that. And it's easier for me in terms of consulting assignment. If I lose an assignment, I'm like, okay, I'm not meant to have that one. How does this? What does this 1 look like? Let's see what if I can create 1 over here. And generally, I find I end up in a much better place in a much better situation after the pivot. But that's how I approach Negative or failures. I can't say I've had a lot that were really meaningful, but the ones I have had, I bounced back fairly quickly with a simple, all right, that's over. Let's pivot.
David Kong:I love that. And I think what you're saying is be constructive in how you think about your setback or disappointment. When you're constructive, you find a new way of doing something or you pivot and you get into another path. That's very good advice. Thanks for sharing that. Now you also alluded to this earlier, be open to anything, which means that you have a high profile for risk taking, can you share some advice on risk taking?
John Fareed:This is probably my favorite area of discussion. We discussed this in the book, as David, but I think that every step that I've taken took a huge leap of faith in terms of going and, in high school, I wasn't the athlete. I was the chess champion. I played tuba in the band. As I mentioned, my drama teacher earlier, I was in drama club. I wasn't exactly the steadily sports guy in high school for sure. But if people read the book, they'll understand why I chose to go in the Marines, but to. Leave home and sign up to go in the Marines and go to bootcamp at Parris Island. Took a ginormous leap of faith and was a huge risk, but I made it through and spent six years. And then to go back and do what I had been dreaming of as a child to be a magician and just take off. I took off and said, what have I got to lose coming out of the Marines? If I just take off for Los Angeles and try to audition at the famed Magic Castle in Hollywood and everybody thought I was nuts because they all thought of me as a Marine. When you've done so well, you've been in 6 years, in another 14 years, you could retire. But essentially I said, no, I'm going to be a magician. And everybody was against me quite honestly on that front, including my grandfather's, but essentially I went and I found my way and I auditioned and lo and behold, next thing I'm performing at the magic castle, the worst though, in terms of risk taking was this opportunity to become a hotel consultant, David, because. Everybody thought I was very successful as a magician and they couldn't understand why in the world would you leave after 15 years to become a magician? A hotel consultant, but I believed in it and I decided that's what I was going to do. And I felt like it would be a healthy life for me and it might be something different, but I'm glad I did. And I took that risk. I started as a solo practitioner and I did everything that I could to begin building that personal brand, that new. Consulting personal brand. I had left the sameness of the Marines and the mysterious of magic to become this conservative hotel consultant. And I found it was a breath of fresh air. And I learned a lot. I learned a lot at the beginning, but it was a big risk. It was a big risk to leave it all and become a solo practitioner. Having never worked in the industry. In no formal education, it was a big risk, but it's one that I took, but I always tell people take the leap because without the leap, you don't know if you can do something or not. You have to put the risk out there.
David Kong:That's true. You have to take the leap. Although a lot of people realize that, they are also really afraid to take that leap. And I was wondering, if you can share, how do you muster up the courage to do those tremendous leaps that you've had in your career?
John Fareed:I think I was more afraid not to take a leap. I think sometimes we get stuck in a rut that we know is the wrong direction and we keep walking down that road for a very long time. And I think I was more afraid of not taking a leap than I was of taking a leap. Also, at each stage, I felt like I had very little to lose if I did take the leap, because I could always go back into the Marines, or if the hotel consulting didn't work out, I could always come back to the Magic. I always felt like there was always a soft place for me to land, and if people really think about it, they'll find that's true in terms of those risks. But people take much bigger risks. Every day in my opinion, when they decide to get married or have children, those are big risks, David. Those are massive. Those are massive risks. But yeah, so I just tell people to take the leap. What have you got to lose? And if if you fall on your face, you'll get back up and pivot and try something else.
David Kong:That is true. That's very good advice on risk taking. I see that we are coming to the end of the show. Since our show is about personal empowerment, can you share some advice on that?
John Fareed:In terms of personal empowerment, for me, it comes down into a little bit of self care. Meaning I try to find the things that help me relax and clear my head and think whether it's the outdoors and doing some things or going to a movie or whatnot to leave everything including these things, turn these off and go away and clear my head and recharge my battery and I come out feeling a little bit more clear and a little bit more empowered. My, my issues have always revolved around getting burned out. Like when do you stop working during the day? And when do you check out? And my life too, because of my lifestyle of travel and the company that I keep and the clients that I have, the, and this as well as I did, particularly in hospitality, tourism, and leisure. Everything blurs together. Our friends are industry friends. It's hard to know when we stopped working and decided to have dinner and then we find at dinner we're still talking about work. I have to check out and do a little bit of self care. So I work out, go outside go to a movie. And very often I'll have a nice little whiskey. I think I picked that up in Ireland when I was in school. But for me, empowerment is that. Plus, what we talked about earlier continue to educate. And invest in yourself, read, earn more designations, find good mentors. Those are all good too.
David Kong:Yeah, I totally agree with you. Self care and continually improving ourselves. Those are great steps to self empowerment. Thanks for sharing that. I'm afraid we're out of time, but I want to thank you again, John, for being on our show and sharing such insightful advice.
John Fareed:It was fun. I, I, this is such a candid off the cuff conversation. I thank you for the opportunity. I've enjoyed it as always, David time with you as a pleasure.
David Kong:Thank you for saying that. And to the audience who are listening, I appreciate your joining us, and if you'd like to hear more interviews of this sort, please visit us on our website, DEIAdvisors. org, or visit us at our YouTube channel, DEIAdvisors. Thanks so much for joining us. Thanks again, John. Thank
you.