Greg discusses the evolution of his leadership, including the many skills he needed to develop to become a servant leader. He shares how important communication is and why to be able to advocate successfully it takes two parties - the one communicating the message and the one available to truly hear it. Greg talks about self care and how parenting has been an integral part of his personal growth and leadership style.
Greg discusses the evolution of his leadership, including the many skills he needed to develop to become a servant leader. He shares how important communication is and why to be able to advocate successfully it takes two parties - the one communicating the message and the one available to truly hear it. Greg talks about self care and how parenting has been an integral part of his personal growth and leadership style.
I am Rachel Humphrey with DEI Advisors, and I am delighted to be joined today by Greg Aden, the owner and founder of Aden Leadership and longtime hospitality industry executive. Greg, welcome
Greg Aden:to the show. Thanks for having me, Rachel. I've been looking forward to this for a long time.
Rachel Humphrey:We are going to jump right in because we only get about 30 minutes together today, and I know based on my time with you in the past, we could talk for hours and not cover everything, so I want to start off right away with your journey to leadership. 1 of the things I love about the hospitality industry so much is that everybody really has a unique path to get to where they are in leadership within the industry. Can you tell our audience a little bit about your journey and maybe some of those pivotal moments that help you get to where you are
Greg Aden:today? Absolutely. I didn't realize I was going to lovely hospitality as much as I did when I jumped in. But like a lot of a lot of people that are in hospitality, we start out as a dishwasher, a busboy, a prep cook. I did all that. I was a host at a restaurant. room service operator. And then the pivotal moment for me. First, first one was I was a Bellman at Marriott's Tantera, a little known place, Lake of the Ozarks. And my second summer there, I met a gentleman who was in sales and we, he knew I was going to be playing softball with him and give him his name. His name's Bob Ekman. A lot of us, a lot of us know him and. It was just I was a bellman. He was a manager and we played softball together and came back and actually was a sales manager for Marriott Stanteer when Bob was promoted to director of sales. So there I was now a manager and a leader promoted and went to Vail. Ended up in Vail for a short time. And then Jack Breisacher with Stouffer called and said, Hey, we're opening a new resort in Palm Springs. The Stouffer Esmeralda, he hired me to come to Palm Springs. Later, I ended up leaving them and coming back to Marriott. And I say that because I was with Marriott for eight years. And that was a pivotal moment to be in a real strong organization where they're training you and leading you to become not only better salespeople, but better leaders. left there and went to a smaller company for more money in Corpus Christi, Texas. Don't recommend leaving Palm Springs for Corpus Christi, but every path has its reasons and I'll just skip through a couple jobs after that. And another pivotal moment, Rachel, was I ended up being hired to be a vice president of services for a financial services company. Not hospitality, but yes, it was. Cause I was I was a meeting planner as well. And I did all the conference planning and I got to put our ideas together of how we recruit and train accountants. And who does that? But I learned a lot about entrepreneurship. I learned a lot about leadership because at the time, Jim Ainsworth, the president would, he had this acronym that sounded like, I only do what I only do. Then Greg Aden does everything else. And it was a beautiful way to research and research and then say, okay, Jim, here's my two options, A or B. And 90 percent of the time he went with the one I recommended, but other times he challenged me to go back and make this one change better. So the growth in that organization, leading the training and all the other areas, that was my second pivotal moment. And then in 97, Bob Ekman, Doug Artuzio, we're at a, I invited them to a Rolling Stones concert in Nashville, Tennessee. I had extra tickets. I happened to be there with my company, long story short, Doug Artuzio saw me differently than he did when he, when we worked together and at Marriott. He was now with IHG, Holiday Hospitality at the time. And about a half a year later, Bob calls and says, Hey, they have an opportunity to be a franchise salesperson at IHG. Are you interested in in applying? I was an officer of the financial services company. Why would I want to do that? Long story short, the money, the opportunity to travel, the opportunity to be with a really powerful hospitality company was in front of me and I took it. And 16 and a half years after. Being a very prolific sales person and then a vice president. I really started to learn about leadership. And in short servant leadership and the vast difference between being a manager or being in management and being a leader. And I believe I had good leaders in my life. Kirk Kinsell, Jim Anhut, several others that were. Patient with me as a salesperson, but believed in me enough to give me different roles to play. And that's in, in short, my, my journey to leadership. And the biggest place I've learned leadership though, is being a dad. I had no idea that being parent, being a parent and being a leader were very. Very semiotic, very similar and having these two, two boys in my life as long as I could taught me a lot about being humble being, having empathy, having, being a listener, we, we think we're good communicators until we have kids and I know you have children too, Rachel, and to anybody listening argue with me that leadership and parenting aren't similar. So that my biggest journey to leadership was my desire to have kids, because as I said, off air, it wasn't until 48 that I decided to have kids. Another thing I wouldn't recommend waiting that long, but thank God I did. And I mean that, thank God I did. I don't know who I would be today. If I didn't have these or had, most people know I'm down to one, one boy lost Sam last year, but without these two little critters in my life, I don't know. I think I was on the edge of being a leader, but maybe a little more arrogant leader, a little bit more self absorbed leader, and they have humbled me significantly.
Rachel Humphrey:You have mentioned so many great things in there before I touch on those, of course, with tremendous sympathy on your loss of Sam. I know we might talk about that a little bit later on, but what a really important point to know the. Interplay between parenting and a career as far as leadership goes talking about the relationships and the mentors that you've had and what a critical role those have played. And I always love hearing people who've taken maybe unusual steps who haven't had a trajectory that maybe has shown. Typical progress and how really learning a lot of different areas probably ended up benefiting you in the end. But I do want to talk about realizing leadership. Sometimes we hear from people. Oh, I knew from a young age I was born to be a leader. I knew when I was the captain of the soccer team that I was meant to lead. But I'm curious about, you talked about developing it and seeing leaders and Eventually realizing yourself that you are a leader, but also your leadership has now grown to where you're actually a leadership coach when you think maybe was the pivotal moment in your career that you went from being, whatever your title was, whatever your role was to really being a leader and how you developed that skillset as well.
Greg Aden:Yeah. And I would say to anyone listening it's not my opinion. It's fact leaders are not born. Leaders decide to be leaders. They choose to be leaders. They study leadership. They study fantastic other leaders, coaches teachers, parents, uncles, aunts, et cetera. They read, they absorb the topic. That's the only way you get to be a better leader. I would say that all through my youth, if I look back, especially college and certainly with Marriott and IHE, I was always stepping up to the front of the room and. And wondering what else I could do, asking for more opportunities to, to speak, to share, to, to help others grow. And I always had this little doubt in my mind, who are you Greg Aden to help anybody do anything? If you're recognized as someone that's decent at what they do, then you realize that leading others is maybe something that you just need to take advantage of and step into it and quit waiting for people to invite you. And as I mentioned, when I resigned from IHG I knew I wanted to change all of my energy and all of my desire into leadership. So I obviously studied, I got certified and became very involved in the Denver area and anything I could in our international coach federation. of Colorado was the first thing I joined. Again I listened, I watched, I heard someone say they were going to put on a conference and Hey, I'm hospitality guy, meeting planner, let me help. So they handed me the playbook and created a leadership conference that they'd never had before and actually put us on the map. It's an opportunity to step up. I believe is an op is what I would say to anyone listening. You don't need to be a leader to be in leadership. You just have to want to serve others. As I mentioned earlier, servant leadership is something to me that defines where you're really coming from. It's not about you as a as an individual, it's about you helping others get better at what they say they want to do. And with that I'll ask you, how important is listening? How is, how important is being curious? And I don't believe enough leaders are slowing down to find out. Are they really following me? The only way you know is to ask them and then you ask them what you can do for them today. And that servant leadership, a lot of people early on, Rachel said, that's, it's soft. I don't serve people. I lead people. And do you manage people? You tell them what to do because that's not leadership. So I adopted servant leadership right off the bat. Even before I left IHG, I was interviewing people like Jim Anhut and like Kirk Consell and like others. What does servant leadership mean to you? And it's amazing how much time they gave me to talk about a topic that really wasn't being talked about. So that's my realization of what I do and why I wanted to do it. And I've been doing it for the last 10 years. And again, thank goodness I did because I would have been on a trajectory to be On a panel at all these other hospitality conferences where okay, but anyway, I love my path.
Rachel Humphrey:I Think that you raise some great points. Certainly the difference between servant leadership and leadership, the evolution and curiosity. We hear that from so many. Leaders that being curious, but also really setting out to figure out the development path for you in leadership. So not to be confused with the development path you had in selling franchises, but really to say, how do I tackle this new role head on? And I want to. follow up with one question there, which is really the evolution of your leadership style. Can you point to anything that you think has gotten better for you as a leader over time and maybe something that's become a little bit more challenging for you over time?
Greg Aden:Yeah, and I would say the men and women that have I've surrounded myself with in various groups, various organizations here in Denver over the past 10, 11 years, I've learned the value of listening. I've learned the value of asking questions and authentic questions. Authentic curiosity is something I would ask everybody to write down and study and understand what that means. Because asking questions to prove you're right is not being curious and certainly not being authentic. I've learned to what humility means. And we've all had a little bite of humble pie in our life, but do we really understand why it's important to eat not just a bite, but the entire fricking pie, because that is what helps us change inside the other things I would say is the empathy, humility is one thing, but being empathetic or having empathy for others, where are they coming from? That's been a long journey, but. Great journey. And again I give Sam and Brooks a lot of credit because it's not me telling them what to do. It's what are they really asking for? And how can I serve them in the moment to make them better little guys and better people and better students. But it's been a lot of people in my life. Rachel then have reached out and said, Hey, you're good at these things, but you might consider this. And then there's accountability groups, that I've been in and we literally serve one another at our weakest points to help us get stronger. And if you're not really spending that kind of time with other human beings that are helping you get better, no matter what your craft is it wasn't always on leadership. It was on coaching. And being a mentor and being a responsible person and someone that other people would want to follow. We all have our own brand, but we all have our own style. And my style is, has been said many times, whether it's a quote or Confirmation. Greg challenges me, but in a loving way, and I've gotten really used to agreeing with that. I am not for the faint of heart. I am not for a man or a woman who thinks they know everything and don't want to grow. They just don't hire me. And I'm not someone that's gonna, ask him to lay down on a couch Tell them how wonderful they are either. So if you want to be challenged, hire someone that's going to actually do exactly what it is you're looking for. That's my style. And I evolved into that answer your question by hours and hours of understanding who I am according to other people. And what do I really mean when I speak, what am I trying to say?
Rachel Humphrey:I love the point too, because you said earlier, I might've still been a leader, but an arrogant leader. And now you talk about humility and being humble and being a servant leader. And that certainly is quite an evolution in yours. So I appreciate your sharing that you mentioned in there, a curiosity, a continuous growth. learning how to do new things. I want to pivot back to maybe some of the early days in hospitality for you, whether at Marriott or IHG. As you continue to accept new roles, new opportunities, certainly it became evident to you that there were skills you didn't learn, whether it be in college or at your first jobs that you were really going to need to be successful at your current role. Can you think of any of those where you had an aha moment where you're like, wow. This is something I do not know, but I'm really going to have to develop it in order to be successful. And then how you went about setting out to do that.
Greg Aden:Yeah. And Bob Ackman and I have worked together twice at Marriott Stanterra. He was a young director of sales and I was certainly a young sales manager. And I early on from Bob learned the essence of being timely. Being on time, respecting other people's time. And if he's listening to this, he's saying, yeah, it took me a long time to and then boundaries, Doug Artusio, director of marketing at the time, and also became vice president of ironically, both of these relationships I repeat it respecting other space, having boundaries. Respecting the people who are giving you orders, whether you believe in them or not in the moment, isn't the time to course correct and do something other than what they've asked you to do. Go back and ask questions. And both Doug and Bob were very patient with me. Brown Kessler. There, there is a diamond in the rough, a man that says a little, but says a lot. He taught me on how to listen because Brown has a very unique style of communicating. And if you're truly listening, you'll get the essence of what he's saying. And again, Brown, if you're listening, thank you for helping me become a better listener. And I would tell you then all the years I was selling franchises and I know we like to sell it, but I swear to you, Rachel, I don't think I sold a franchise. I helped someone buy what they said they wanted. Yeah. And I made it their journey. And I can help you get to where you wanna go. Here's what we're gonna need to do together. Here's what I need to in order to help you. And then my other clients, and I learned this from Angie Mcri and she knows I love her and respect very much. She was the first woman in my, in that career with IHG that said, Greg, you are an arrogant prick. If you really want to succeed in this role, you're gonna have to. Have some humility and recognize that we're not here to do your deals. We're here to work with you. So we all win and a year in two years in, I finally got it. Cause I was a sales guy. I was the, everybody wanted to know, and it took me a long time to pull my head out of my, you know what, and realize that without the people in Atlanta doing all this work for us, not me, it sounds like a simple thing to learn, but someone had to knock me upside the head and her and two other people did. And thank God for Angie. And I've said this publicly on LinkedIn before and she knows who she is, she knows what, and we just have those moments. What I'm asking anybody that's listening is when you have those moments, if not in the moment, tell them, thank you, learn it behave differently, but then please go back and say, thank you. Cause they don't know in the moment if they're really reaching you. And it's, it really means a lot to people when they know they can help others. And a thank you note or some recognition comes along. I believe that's something else I learned is to recognize the people that have actually helped you get to where you are today.
Rachel Humphrey:It's interesting. Two of your biggest points that I take away from that are the skill of being on time and saying thank you. And in some ways, Those seem like the most basic of lessons that we could learn yet for a lot of leaders, probably some of the most important along the way. So I really appreciate your sharing that and how fortunate that Angie shared with you and that you were available to listen to the advice that she gave to you. I want to talk for a second about. How you and I know each other. I don't know if you know this, but I'll tell you in case you don't. Back when you were selling IHG franchises, I was an attorney in private practice representing a lot of franchisees, and I actually represented a lot of your Franchisees to close new transactions to close new deals. And so your name was very familiar to me, but as a lawyer, our interaction would not have been on the business side. And then fast forward to my days at a Helen. We have an opportunity for our paths to cross again, but it really wasn't until I retired and you and I connected separately on what could you do to help women? Be elevated in the hospitality industry further, faster, better than was currently what you were seeing. Not because I had reached out to you, but because you had actually initiated that outreach to me. And so for starters, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being whatever term people want to use an ally, a champion, but also putting effort into what you're talking about. And in that you've become an incredible supporter of women in travel thrive and several other organizations in the industry. One of the biggest generalizations that we hear is that women are not good at advocating for ourselves. So as you think about your work as an executive leadership coach, as you think about Angie, maybe talking with you or the teams that then you've been around at different points in your career, what would you tell someone who maybe is having a hard time being heard or finding a way to truly advocate for
Greg Aden:herself? Yeah, great question. And honestly, I believe it. It will and always has started within what do you believe is true about yourself? Where what are your values? What do you really want to advocate? What do you really want people to see and hear about you that you will always be true to? So be true to yourself. And what are the thoughts that you're having? Why is this advocating so important to you and who's your audience? And, some people may not like what I'm going to say, but it's less about women needing to advocate for themselves as much as it is men giving them an opportunity to just speak and get over yourself, men. It's because you're in their way and you know it and you just don't have the courage to do it. And that's a big part of it. And I'm not saying move over, take my job of opportunities. It's slow down and listen and look around and be really honest around your surroundings. Is this really the best group of people that you can have in these spots? And I believe if some more men would pause and ask themselves that very question, do we actually have the very best people in these roles? And if not, where else should I be looking? And because the knocks are there, the interest is there, but it's their stubbornness to, to really stop and pause because they're in a great position themselves. Why should they worry about anybody else? Because you're not a servant leader. You're not thinking about anybody but yourself. And we all know what those adjectives are. Narcissistic. Stubborn. Arrogant. Whatever. And I believe if you're really interested and you're a woman in a position that can make a difference. Continue to demonstrate the differences that you are making and want to make. And if you're not getting the opportunities where you are now, it might be time to go somewhere else where the audience is a little bit more aware of who you are and what is it that you want it to. Succeed at now. Did I come up with all these opportunities to say things about? No, not by myself. I'll tell you a secret. When I was sophomore in high school, my step mom, Connie Aiden. And if you're listening, I love you and thank you for knocking me upside the head early on. And she said, Greg, if you're gonna you're gonna live in this house, you're gonna recognize right now. There is no difference between the strengths of men and women. We're equal. And oh, by the way, she was president of American Business Women's Association. And I was being taught by someone I didn't even know I was learning from. So I got it early on and I would say, how can I help a woman find their voice? I would just say what is really important to you and let's talk about it. Then if the audience is right, the opportunities will be there. So i'm asking the i'm asking their audiences to listen, but i'm also Asking them to what is it that you really want to make a difference in? Because I know there's a place for all of us. It just may not be immediate and it may not be exactly where we are now.
Rachel Humphrey:I love the concept of looking around and asking if we have the best people for the roles around us. But also that advocating for ourselves is really a two way street. You have to be able to advocate for what's important and then you have to have an audience willing to listen. And that actually segues. Perfectly into communication as one of those strategies when people think about public speaking, they tend to think about the conference seats that you mentioned a little while ago in our interview, but really public speaking can be 1 on 1 with your manager. It can be in a. staff meeting. It could be at your kitchen table making a toast. It could be at a small networking event. Talk a little bit about the art of public speaking, the role that you think it plays in leadership development. And I'm not talking just, of course, for your C speak leaders, but anyone who has aspirations to continue down whatever career path they
Greg Aden:have chosen. Yeah. And practice. Anything that you, you are good at, we all know that It's been something you put time and effort into and ask for opportunities to speak. Speak to high school, speak to junior high, speak to kids. If nothing else, they're the best audiences because all they do is smile and laugh and raise their hand and you get practice and talking with them. A little known secret is I love speaking to high school students. They are our future leaders. I love speaking to colleges because they are our future leaders. And, host, be, ask them, ask your opportunities in your communities to offer information. And there you go. You're going to be speaking publicly, but it's something that you know that you believe in. And if you know you believe in it, it's easy to communicate. You don't have to be a TED Talker right away. You don't have to have your own podcast, but take time interviewing people. Cause when you ask questions and again, it's authentic, you get an opportunity to listen better, maintain eye contact, know your subject, and, keep an audience, entertained for a little bit. But I believe the communication aspect of where we are today in society. First of all, you cannot honestly have a conversation if you're on your phone. Put it away. That is a huge issue with where we are today, whether you're driving or not, none of my business, but when you're pretending to have a conversation, you cannot be present if you have a phone in your hand. Unless you need to say, hang on a minute, let me look something up for you. So that's number one. If you, if, as far as communication, take opportunities when they're presented to you, but create opportunities by stepping up to the front of the room. When you're in a group, raise your hand and say, Hey, I'd like to share something at our next meeting and then prepare. But again you ask questions to start the conversation. Now, all of a sudden you're not speaking, you're facilitating. And in my opinion, that's where the magic is. It's facilitation of a conversation. That's not necessarily led by you, but you have an opportunity to make sure that it doesn't get derailed. And we actually get some important points out of this whole meeting. And that's my sweet spot is actually facilitating group meetings.
Rachel Humphrey:A group of important lessons, certainly creating opportunities for yourself. Practice absolutely making it known that you'd like those opportunities, such a good connection of ways. And a lot of good examples in there too, of the junior highs, the high schools, the colleges, they're thirsty for information. Speakers and inspiring leaders. That is a great one. I told you early on I knew we were gonna run short on time. I do wanna cover just a couple of topics and I don't want to rush through them, but coming out of the pandemic, certainly we have had such a renewed focus on self-care and wellness, and you are a very public advocate for mental health awareness. For a variety of different reasons. Talk a little bit about whether it be through your personal experience, your coaching experience what type of advice would you give or insights? Do you have on maybe those that are struggling to balance? Because there is no balance, but to find harmony in it all, whether that is physical wellness, mental health, wellness, career wellness. How do you put all those pieces
Greg Aden:together? Like anything I ever suggest, Rachel, it starts with you and if I could be so silly as to your heart, you've got to take care of your heart. You've got to take care of your soul. And that's it's what you absorb on a daily basis. What you read, what you follow is going to have a big part of that self care to me. And, I'm 61. Thank goodness I have my dad's genes, but you've got to eat what you've got to eat, right? You've got to sleep. You've got to rest. You've got to take care of yourself. Whatever that means, that's what it means to you. If you don't like the way you look, you don't like the way you feel. You got to look in the mirror, talk to that man or woman. Cause they're the only person that's going to really care for you is you. And mental health and mental wellness. Wow. Until I knew I had a son that was struggling, I don't know that I would have been so up on what it really means to take care of someone that doesn't even know what they don't know. So I'm going to go back to what I said about being a leader is being a fantastic parent. I'm not perfect. I wasn't, and I never will be, but what I was really good at is asking questions every single day about what I can do for you. How can I serve you today? How can I be a better parent today? You and I, and Sylvia talked about it on, when we were on our podcast together and the beautiful connection to lean in. But I'm begging you as parents, you've got to be present, real and authentic when you're asking your son or daughter questions, because if not, they're just gonna give you the eye roll because they know you're not really, you're not really present. And take care of yourself, meaning really make sure that you're doing the things every single day that makes you a better person so everybody around you can get better because when you're not good, please don't expect others to be good because it's they're not, especially if they're following you and check in with the people in your communities that are helping people get better, enjoying that. And if nothing else, just sit there and learn. And the more you learn, the more you can know, and the more you know, the more powerful you can be for the people around you. And I leave you with this, the people you say you love, let's see how you take care of them by how well you take care of yourself. tHat's
Rachel Humphrey:such a critical point, both in taking care of yourself to be able to take care of others, but also in being present to things that we really continue to need to see evolving from a career perspective, because quite frankly, we are all better leaders, better. People that are parents when we're taking care of ourselves, we've talked a lot about personal growth over the last 30 minutes, and I can tell from listening to you continue to be on a path of a lot of self discovery. A lot of growth. Some knocks upside the head by some pretty influential people in your life. But I always love to ask and to be asked advice to our younger selves, because I do think that work Our life is a work in progress. I think reflection is a really big part of that. So as you sit here today at 61, what do you tell 21 year old Greg about either how things turned out for you or something you wish you had known then?
Greg Aden:Yeah, I would, I'm happy to report. And I'm as curious as I was when I'm, when I was 10 and my 21 year old self, I would say, be patient and be willing to just. hold your breath and listen. wE're in such a hurry today and I couldn't have, I can't be going any slower right now, but it's forced. But I know being patient and reading and listening and waiting to send an email, believing that someone does love you and they do care about you and they will respond. And if they don't, there's probably a lesson in that too. So my let my suggestion to the young viewers is to just be patient and continue to ask questions because it will come.
Rachel Humphrey:I love that the combination again of patience and listening and being curious such recurring themes for you. We have reached our time today. I want to ask you just quickly keeping in mind the motto of DEI advisors, empowering personal success. Is there 1 piece of final advice you'd like to share with
Greg Aden:our listeners? Yeah, and it's really fun and it's difficult and it's not sexy, but it's powerful. Look in the mirror, have a real conversation with that person that is reflecting back. Because if you're not honest with the person in the mirror, the person in the mirror can't be honest with you. And that's your greatest learning tool. That's your greatest person that will give you all the advice you need.
Rachel Humphrey:Wow. What a great way to wrap things up today, Greg Aden. Thank you so much for
Greg Aden:joining us. Loved it. Absolutely. Thank you, Rachel. And to
Rachel Humphrey:our audience, thank you so much for tuning in today. If you enjoyed our time with Greg, we hope you'll head over to DEIadvisors. org where you can hear from over 150 hospitality industry leaders as they too share their journeys and the insights they've learned along the way. You can also stream us from your favorite podcast streaming service, as we say, only in the 2024s now. Greg, thank you so much again. Thank you to our audience and have a great day.