DEI Advisors Podcast

Dorraine Lallani, Board Member, Red Roof Inns, Interviewed by Rachel Humphrey

March 15, 2023 David Kong
DEI Advisors Podcast
Dorraine Lallani, Board Member, Red Roof Inns, Interviewed by Rachel Humphrey
Show Notes Transcript

Dorraine talks about her unexpected path into the hotel industry, why it's so important for women to advocate for themselves, and how she overcomes obstacles when faced with challenges.  She also discusses how she builds relationships and continues to learn and grow and why it's so important for her to be a mentor and champion for the next generation of women in hospitality. Dorraine also encourages everyone to ask for help when you need it and why she wishes she had had that advice earlier in her career.

Rachel Humphrey:

Good afternoon. I am Rachel Humphrey with d e I advisors, and I am delighted today to be joined by Dorraine Lalani. Dorraine, welcome to the show. Thanks,

Dorraine Lalani:

Rachel. I'm happy to be here.

Rachel Humphrey:

For starters, let me just say thank you. When I entered the hospitality industry from lawyering to executive level, you were one of the first names that was ever tied with the phrase I heard of elevating women in hospitality. That was a phrase that was new to me, and I know that you have been passionate and committed to this mission for a very long time. So on behalf of both the industry, but also for me personally, just thank you so much for all that you have done and continue to do.

Dorraine Lalani:

Oh, thank you Rachel. It's, it's been great getting to know you over the years, and honestly, when we first met, I had no idea that you were somewhat new to your role or your position, and it was as if you'd been doing it

Rachel Humphrey:

forever. I appreciate that. We're gonna spend about 30 minutes today talking about your journey to leadership and some of the lessons that you've learned along the way. And we're gonna jump right in cuz I know you and I could talk for hours and we would run out of time doing that. So one of the things I love so much about the hospitality industry is that each of our paths to leadership is incredibly different and it's nice for people to see how many opportunities. There are in hospitality as a career. So tell us a little bit about your path and how you got to where you are today.

Dorraine Lalani:

Rachel, I think like you, I have a very different path. When I got outta college, I had studied finance. I knew nothing about the hotel business, never thought I'd be involved in any way in the hotel business. I, was one of those accidental hotel lia, i. studied finance. I thought probably I would go into banking, I would go into some part of the real estate industry, but it just happened that when I got outta school, I called a C P A that I had worked for during my summers in college and told her, Hey, I'm back in Houston looking for a job. It was the mid eighties. Things were not going well in, in Houston at the time. So I really didn't know what I was gonna be doing. And, she said, look I'm doing some contract work for this hotel company. They're very small family owned they're looking for somebody to join their team. And so I went and met with them and. At the time it was not called Westmont Hospitality, but that's what the company is known as today. So 38 years ago I sat with them and and talked about the position. And it was interesting because they had two employees, both of whom were leaving at the same time within days. One of them was having a baby any second, and the other was had taken another opportunity. They were really anxious to get somebody in. So I interviewed on a Thursday, asked, I was given the job that night and then said, okay, I'll see you Monday. And they said, oh, no, can you come tomorrow? that should have been my first clue of what I head in for me. But it's been a great journey. I started out as administrative assistant to Jim Ngal, who is a name that's very well known in our industry. He's an industry icon. He's a very humble man. But he's done amazing things with Westmont. As I said, it was very small company and essentially at that time it was me and the owners. So I always say I never got my m b a beginning to spend those first years at Midge side learning the business was the best MBA I think anybody could ask for. So I was, was lucky to have a lot of opportunities over the years. I focused mainly on the real estate side. I never worked in a hotel. I've never checked in a guest to this day. I was never in operations, but because of the many opportunities that the company gave me to grow I've been able to go on a path and. To where I am today, which is doing asset management of the 50 plus company owned Red Roof Fins. And I've done anything from acquisitions to dispositions to HR, to office management. I've really had a lot of different aspects to this job, which is why I love it while I'm still, why I'm still here.

Rachel Humphrey:

That's incredible. And one of the common themes that we've heard from a lot of leaders is having done so many different roles within a company or within the industry, so having the curiosity and the desire to continue learning, but to take on new challenges. One of the things that I wanna talk with you about, because I have been incredibly impressed, is how you talk about advocating for ourselves. A lot of women we are not good at using our voice, finding it for a variety of different reasons. It can be cultural, it can be societal, it can be our own insecurities. Tell me what your strategies you would share with others on how to find your voice and how to advocate for yourself.

Dorraine Lalani:

I think we as women tend to be a bit shy, if you will, at putting ourselves out there or. advocating for ourselves in such a way that we don't, we're worried about coming off as being cocky or arrogant, whereas I think men are much more comfortable in that role. I think we, we tend to be a little self-deprecating. We we just I, again, I think it's all about trying to be humble. and maybe we go a little bit overboard in that respect.

Rachel Humphrey:

How do you overcome that? Or how do you when you find yourself maybe backtracking into some of those patterns of being quiet or shy, or how do you hype yourself up or can remind yourself how important it is to advocate for yourself?

Dorraine Lalani:

I think I realize, my voice in my head tells me, you've earned this, you've worked hard. You deserve to be in that, in the role that you have. And don't be shy. And I also think part of it is I wanna try to be an example for younger women who have, who are coming into our industry or that see myself and you and others who have been in the industry for a while. And try to set an example for them so that they don't have maybe the same struggles that we had. I think about, the things that, that I've had to go through in especially being a woman in a real, in a male dominated field, of course. We have so many more things to To challenges to face and to get over. And we have to, I think everybody knows we have to work a little bit harder to be seen and to be recognized. I can tell you how many times over the years people have assumed because I'm a woman, that I'm somebody's administrative assistant. Let's see. I've been told. Oh, so you must be the wife of the owners of the company because of the role I play. So we really have to work hard and unfortunately that still happens today after all these years.

Rachel Humphrey:

No, I think that's a good point. Those assumptions or those unconscious bias that people come to with women in the industry are improving, but definitely still a long way to go. Even today you actually just touched on wanting to be a role model or to model behavior for others to follow, and that's actually where I have seen or have so much respect and admiration for you because you have long been a an advocate for being a mentor, being a champion for others. So I wanna flip the narrative for one second and ask, have you had mentors and champions in your career, whether formal or informal? And then how important is it to you and how do you then mentor and champion the next generation of industry leaders?

Dorraine Lalani:

I have absolutely had. Many mentors over the course of my career. I don't know that they were called that back in the day, I think there's much more attention to mentorship today, for sure. My, my mentors have changed over the years, depending on what phase of my career, but, and they've been both men and women from the first, the CPA I mentioned. That helped me get my job at Westmont was probably my first mentor, but I can't say I ever thought of her as a mentor, but certainly she was she advocated for me when I was being hired and she told them, she said, look, this young woman's coming outta college and you need to make sure that she's challenged because she's very smart and she's gonna go places, but you need to make sure. That you give her the right opportunities and they listened and it's happened. At this point in my career, as I think about the number of years that I've had to be mentored, it's important to me now to pay that back. And, I think that it's much more formalized these days, but I've had the opportunity to mentor young women, young men. I think in our, daily interactions, it may be an informal relationship, but if we can help our peers, our colleagues with things that we've maybe experienced before and give them the benefit of our experience and knowledge we should do that. And that's what I try to do.

Rachel Humphrey:

I think that's incredible and I really love in this industry how I've never heard of someone calling someone and asking for advice and guidance and them saying no. And so it's whether it is informal, as you mentioned, of people just seeking out others for, how did you do this? Or how did you tackle this? We never saw it more so probably than during the pandemic where we were all desperately trying to find advice and guidance from our peers. turning that into something else that you feel passionately about. As you mentioned you're a smart woman and you want to continue to grow, continue to develop. There are a lot of resources in this industry to be able to do and outside of it as well. How do you make sure that you are continuing your own personal journey, whether it be on substantive matters of the industry, on leadership aspects, on trends in the industry. Where do you turn to for resources?

Dorraine Lalani:

There's there's so many resources, especially with all the technology we have today, all the podcasts. I watched a lot of the D e I podcasts. I've been really inspired by those and you guys are doing such great work. There's so much reading material. Just you could spend your entire workday and into the evenings. With all the things you could read about. And I tend to be a little bit heter skelter. I'll start one book and then something else catches my eye and I'll go to that. I I do try to read a lot, but I really think the main growth you get is just from the relationships you have around you and taking advantage of those and just. picking up the phone and calling a colleague that you've known for years and just to say hi. And you never know what conversation may come out of that helps you grow as a person. Tho those are the things that I try to do, but it's mainly the, just keeping the relationships going, I think is what's so important. Gosh, Rachel, how many hotel conferences have we gone to over the years? And you think, oh, I can't go to one more. I'm just tired. But at this point in my career, I go because of the relationships to keep those active. And I think I would, I miss that the most, I miss that the most during the pandemic is that we couldn't do that. Gave me a new appreciation. For those conferences we love.

Rachel Humphrey:

No, absolutely, and I think relationships are really important. That's another common theme we hear from the D E I advisors and how critical their relationships have been across many categories, whether it's as a support system, continuous growth, new roles, new opportunities, but each one of us, Builds those relationships or networks differently. My skills or my comfort level, my personality traits are very different from yours, yet we end up with a very similar network. Tell me a little bit about what, how you tailor your networking to your personality or to your character.

Dorraine Lalani:

I, some days I feel like an extrovert, and other days I feel very much like an introvert. So I struggle with that. A lot of times I'll show up at a meeting or a conference and I'm just not feeling It's tough for me to engage sometimes, so I try to start small. I think especially when you walk into. Let's say at the luncheon at NYU and there's thousands of people in the room. Sometimes all you need is that one person with you to give you that strength to network with others and talk to others. And that's one thing. One piece of advice I would give somebody who has challenges with net with networking is just find one person, right? That you feel like you either know or that you're going to relate to. and use that to build, give you the confidence to talk to other people in the room, that kind of thing.

Rachel Humphrey:

I would add to that, that one of the reasons I am drawn to you is because you are you have a genuine interest in people. And so when I am speaking with you, whether it's at a conference or separately, I sense that you care about me and that you are interested in what I'm having to say, not what I could do for you or what you could do for me, but in actually getting to know me. And I think that is something that is easily that I feel that very easily coming from you and probably goes a long way to people wanting to spend time with you and be a part of your network. So whether you recognize that or not, that's something that I see in you for sure. Switching gears. I wanna talk a little bit about overcoming obstacles. E every leader has faced challenges. Whether it is something personal impacting work, whether it is staffing or changing trends or pandemic, things like that. How do you tackle obstacles and what advice would you give when people hit one of those potholes and aren't quite sure what to do next?

Dorraine Lalani:

I think if we didn't have obstacles, we wouldn't grow. The, it's, those are the challenges that present opportunities. And I can tell you I've worked on many things over the course of my career that were frustrating or difficult. But, I walk, I walked away saying, Maybe I've made mistakes along the way, but that's part of taking a risk. And taking a risk is how you overcome obstacles. If you don't, if you don't put yourself out there to take on difficult assignments and challenge, first of all, you're gonna get very bored. But you're not going to develop in a way that's going to keep you motivated, keep you excited. The reason I love what I do. after so many years is that no two days are the same. And certainly it has not been without challenge and I've been through some very difficult things, but I just look at it as an opportunity to grow.

Rachel Humphrey:

And then you mentioned in there as part of overcoming obstacles, taking risks I think some of us think that we're risk averse, but our greatest successes have been because we took significant risks. How do you evaluate risks deciding whether or not it is worth it for you to take that risk you're considering?

Dorraine Lalani:

I'll tell you one thing that as I think about taking risks, There's a, there's there's a saying that I learned from one of my mentors, her name's Shamina Abk. She just came out with her book show Your Worth. And in her book she quotes Jenny Roti, who is the only female c e o that IBM m has ever had. And Shamina was a very high ranking. Executive at I B M and I think the first woman of color to ha to reach the level she did. But the quote is, growth and comfort cannot coexist. And I love that. I really take that to heart. And I think that if you if you are taking risk growth is just gonna come naturally along the way.

Rachel Humphrey:

I love that. I've actually, like you heard Shamina speak at a conference before and she's really inspirational. She's had an incredible career and her insights that she offers to women in these exact types of situations have been really impactful, so I appreciate that. Turning gears a little bit to support systems, how important for you is it to have the right support system around you? And what types of situations maybe do you rely. on that system. And then how do you identify who you turn to or who makes up your support system around you?

Dorraine Lalani:

I don't think there's anybody out there that doesn't need a support system. And I think depending on the day it, the day of the week, it's, it's a different system that you may need. But I know I certainly have my group of. Supporters that will vary upon the circumstance that sometimes it's it's a best friend that, that is there for you. Whether it be a business issue or a personal issue, I, so many of my friends that have come from my business life, so the beauty is I have them. That they can support me, not only in things I might be dealing with personally, but also in my career. I'll tell you, the pandemic certainly changed the way I think about support systems and I think being stuck in the house, those first few weeks, I realized how important my family's support system was and. I thought, wow, I don't think I can sit in this house one day longer. But, you get used to it and you start to love it, and you realize sometimes some of the things you miss. Over the years I've had great supporters and in so many different ways and, most recently I think I shared with you, when my daughter went off to college and, seemed to disappear off the face of the earth. And I was so stressed about it. And you were like, this happens to everybody. It's okay. And I've had so many other friends say the same thing. So that, and they were all people that I knew in my business life, but were giving me support in my personal life. No,

Rachel Humphrey:

I love that too because we each have our own set of experiences, but a lot of them will be very similar. And if we gather information from different people in different circumstances, we're usually gonna help find our path, as I have one daughter graduating from college and another taking off for college. So similar phases, and they may also disappear into the sunset. I'm not sure. The pandemic changed that for the first one. So I'm not sure how it'll go this time, but one of my favorite questions to always be asked and why I love asking it on these interviews is what advice would we give to our younger selves? And the reason I love it so much is I believe that each of us as leaders, we are in a tremendous period always of reflection and growth. And so as we look back and we learn lessons along the way, What would we wanna tell ourselves? So what would 22 year old Lelani or what would you tell to your 22 year old self?

Dorraine Lalani:

I think I wish I would've asked for help earlier. I, I don't, as I said, there wasn't this whole concept of mentors and such. And I guess I really didn't think about how important having someone to help me along the way. And f you know what, frankly, in our business, there weren't that many resources at least for me as a woman to try to get advice from maybe another woman. You'd walk in a room and. Even today I walk in a room and I'm often the only woman in the room, or I would walk into a conference and there would be a handful of women in the room. So I just feel like back then I didn't know the resources that were there, and I probably should have looked harder to find them, but definitely asking for help. I think would've made my journey a lot easier.

Rachel Humphrey:

I love that because as you mentioned earlier, there are so many resources now and so many mentors, formal and informal, that those options really exist today where they may not have before. So anyone who's interested in developing that has the ability to reach out. As I mentioned, I know that we would be able to talk for a long time, but we're gonna end up running short. I wanna. Given d e i advisor's mission of empowering personal success and thinking about what we've talked about a little bit today, what would be a piece of final advice that you would give to our viewers on how they can take strides to empower themselves?

Dorraine Lalani:

I guess what I would say is I'll repeat, ask for help. Certainly. I, I think it's, take your seat at the table. you, you've I, again, we tend to maybe try to be humble. We walk into a room and maybe we see a situation where we can sit, be in the background. No, we, I think you have to recognize you've worked hard to get to where you are. Don't be afraid to take your seat at the table because you've earned it. I love

Rachel Humphrey:

that. Dre, as I mentioned, thank you so much for all you do for the industry, for elevating women, for supporting D E I advisors and our mission, and thank you so much for sharing your story and your insights with us today.

Dorraine Lalani:

Thank you Rachel. Thanks for all you at D e I are doing and you with everything you've got going on in your retirement days.

Rachel Humphrey:

thanks so much. Thanks. Thanks.