Tom shares his path to becoming COO and EVP of RLJ and Chair of the AHLA Foundation Board of Trustees and how his passion for and involvement with the Foundation has helped develop him as a leader. He discusses the lessons he's learned from his mentors and how he relies on peer to peer learning in continuing to grow as an executive. Tom also offers his strategy for tackling risks and overcoming challenges and how it impacts his development of future leaders.
Tom shares his path to becoming COO and EVP of RLJ and Chair of the AHLA Foundation Board of Trustees and how his passion for and involvement with the Foundation has helped develop him as a leader. He discusses the lessons he's learned from his mentors and how he relies on peer to peer learning in continuing to grow as an executive. Tom also offers his strategy for tackling risks and overcoming challenges and how it impacts his development of future leaders.
I am Rachel Humphrey with d e I advisors. We are a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering personal success in the hospitality industry, and I am delighted to welcome to the show today, Tom Barnett of R L J Lodging Trust in the chair of the H L A Foundation. Tom, welcome to
Tom Bardenett:the show. Thanks for having me, Rachel. Looking forward to our convers.
Rachel Humphrey:Tom, we are gonna spend about 30 minutes together today talking about your path to leadership and some of the lessons that you have learned along the way. We're gonna jump right in, and one of the things, as you and I have discussed that I really love about the hospitality industry is how each of us can have our own journey or our own path to leadership. There's no one. Specific way to achieve a certain level of success in the industry. So tell us a little bit about your path, where you started out and where you've ended up so far today.
Tom Bardenett:Yeah, happy to. Many people think you go to school for hospitality, and actually when I went to school I was interested in communications and being broadcasting as a concentration. Did a lot of tv, radio, even was the sports information director at my college. And so I was really grooming to be either Bob Costas or Vin Scully and trying to stay close to sports throughout my life. But then I got a call from my parents and while I was in college, my sister was getting promot. For an opportunity to move from Worcester, Massachusetts to Charlotte, North Carolina, and we're originally from Syracuse. I was eager to hear what my parents had to say and they said, why don't you help out and, fly to Massachusetts, drive with your sister down to Charlotte. And as she was getting promoted, she was a director of human resources at a Marriott at the time and working for Interstate Hotels. Corpor. So it was the largest franchisee of Marriotts and it was a great opportunity. So little did I know my parents were really setting me up to learn a little bit more about moving and they didn't want me to come back in the house after college as my gut feeling. And I think it worked. But I was really excited about that because it opened my eyes to. A kid from Syracuse, New York could go anywhere. And following my sister's path in regards to moving and starting a new career and having an opportunity to experience, different. Journeys, my parents we had five kids. We had the spirit of adventure station wagon get in the car and drive, whether it's Florida or dc. So we always had that opportunity to explore and take a look at around the country. But what made me most interested was after I'd graduated college and I still went into radio and TV for a year and a half, and enjoy. I think my path to hotel and hospitality turned the corner when I actually started at the hotel Syracuse, which was built in 1928. Same year the Wal Astoria was built and I really got my feet wet in Syracuse, in the backyard. And what happened was interstate was approaching me at the time to take a job over at the Syracuse Meri app, which was one of the. Hotels they had built as the largest franchisee of Meads. And I actually said no. Cause I didn't wanna stay in the backyard. I really wanted to move. And then they literally offered me the same hotel my sister was at in Worcester and I said No again. So it was really interesting. Because I thought maybe two strikes I'm out. But sure enough, they call me again and they said, what about Fort Lauderdale? And I'm sitting on the couch with my fiance at the time and I was like, what do you think about Lauderdale? And she goes, let's go And Literally, I took the opportunity to join interstate At the time, it was a 19th hotel, and they had only built Marriott's in the early stages of their career. And you would know the story as they've grown and developed and did a lot of other third party hotels, but this was all home ownership. So they owned them. They managed them, and it was great opportunity for me to get started, but in a different location. New job, new wife, new location, and being in Florida from Syracuse where you leave 200, inches of snow was not a hard decision for Robbie and I at that moment in time. As I think about leadership and to your question had a great opportunity within interstate and was with them for 27 years, but, Inflection points that made me really enjoy the facts that I joined the right company is within six months they sent me to a training in Bermuda. And at that point in time it was a sales training course and I was in a sales manager position and I was hooked because at that point in time, they were investing in me. It was a great opportunity to learn and continued to stay in the sales arena at various. So for about seven years, I just went to different positions within interstate and had the opportunity to enjoy different jobs in Orlando, Chicago, and then back to Orlando when I joined the corporate office in a regional position in sales. versus in the field. So got a great opportunity to work at various hotels. A resort in Orlando and Lauderdale was a corporate suburban hotel. And then I went to an airport hotel in in Chicago, and then a golf resort of all places. In Chicago, in the suburbs. So I got a great opportunity to learn. About different flags. Cause at that time we moved from just managing Marriotts to a lot of different type of assets. Radissons independence and Embassy suites. And so it was really an interesting time. And then when I went down to Orlando, cuz my wife said You need to get me back south. After I moved her to Chicago, we joined the Crossroads hospitality division of Interstate, which was fantastic cuz Select service was really taking. And that became the division of interstate that I really grew up in my career, not only in sales operations and then really running the division. It was a great opportunity to learn a whole new division of type of hotels versus full service in my background previously. And as I think about leadership, I think the hardest thing for me was after 27 years with interstate it felt like jumping out of a plane to leave a company that I was so loyal to. But I went to extended State of America and had a great opportunity to work for a company that was not only public, was owned by Blackstone owned and managed hotels of about 682 rooms all across the country. And so that was fascinating for about three years. And then now recently I've joined r LJ for the last. So I went from third party management to owned and brand and managed hotels, and now I'm on the ownership side, which I have to tell you, I don't know what took to me took me so long to get to the ownership side, I had always worked for various owners and learned so much about how to make money and real estate, but I really am thrilled to be at R L J because this company is so diverse and on a path that, is second to none. The way I think about it in regards to. Status and what we're doing with our portfolio. And so it's a long journey, but very exciting. And once you're in hospitality you can't leave it. It's a great fever that you catch and just wanna be around people. That
Rachel Humphrey:is an incredible story and you've touched on a lot of things I wanna follow up on. The one I will say is that having gotten my law degree at Syracuse, I can understand sitting in the 200 inches of snow with Fort Lauderdale calling, that doesn't seem like such a stretch to me. But I always love to share with our listeners why I've asked certain people to join us as advisors with d e I advisors. And it will come as no surprise to you that our paths have only crossed recently, but I have become incredibly inspired by and motivated. By your passion for the H l A foundation and the work that the foundation is doing, and we've had an opportunity over the last few months to really spend some time together talking. I wanna talk about your involvement. You are the current chair of the board of trustees of the H L A foundation, and I wanna ask you about two different things here. One is why it's so important for you personally, but then I'd be curious. Leadership lessons or maybe takeaways you have developed as the chair of a foundation board that might be different than leadership lessons you have learned in your corporate
Tom Bardenett:roles. Yeah, sure. Rachel. And it, and the foundation really has incredible momentum. And so personally, when I first got involved with A H L A, it was at the first foundation event that I got invited to, which was actually the golf classic long time ago. And now they're celebrating, I think their 35th year anniversary of holding this event. And what I really enjoyed about that event, it was not only just a great networking opportunity to talk to brands, owners, management companies, and then suppliers, but it was what the purpose of the reason that they were having the event was to support scholarships and bring people into our industry. So that was my. Entree into the foundation and understanding what they do. And then over time I realize that if I'm going to give back and start to, think about what I can do for the industry, cuz the industry's done so much for me, I. We started to really move into a couple different roles before I became chair, which was secretary and treasurer. So I learned, the books in regards to what they are trying to do with the money and where they're supporting programs. And then the vice chair for a couple years with Greg ucm during 2020 and 21, which was fantastic to see the five year plan put together. And then most recently, now I think about, the reason I joined is really starting to take shape. The programs that we are involved in are much more than scholarships, which was the original thought process of the foundation to bring people into our industry and support people who might not be able to afford to go there. Now it's apprenticeship where, they got a program which is about retention of people and talent, so middle managers who are looking to grow in their careers and diversity. It's about 75% of the talent that gets into the apprenticeship. Goes through a nine month program and then the 90% retention rate is a fantastic way to give back to individuals who need a little bit of extra training and cross-training. So that was one of the programs I really was excited about. And then I think about a couple of the other things. Most recently, as you know with d e we did a leadership academy last year in New Orleans where we had about 60 people going through some training and conversations of courage is the way I would. Where we're talking about things that manner and being intentional about what can we do from an industry standpoint to make sure that we're giving people an opportunity to grow in their careers, especially at the senior level. And then the the other program that I think is probably near and dear to your heart is Forward and Castell with the merger with A H L A now really gaining strength with an organization that, Always had a great opportunity and career advancement in hospitality cuz it's such a diverse industry. But now we're really putting our money where our mouth is and supporting that program. And then lastly, I think no room for trafficking. With the fundraising we're, being gathered between the brand, supporting it and actually taking initiative to try to make a difference and an impact. Our industry is gonna make a difference because a H L A is one voice. And so my personal interests were, aligned with what I wanted to do to be able to give back. And now I would say from a leadership standpoint, to your second question, just having the opportunity to interact with CEOs CEOs, a variety of individuals who really do care about trying to see what we can do as an industry to support the workforce and what we're doing as a organization. I really have learned a lot by just listening to others and respecting differe. And really putting, a lot of hard work into trying to move forward with these programs that I just told you about.
Rachel Humphrey:I love that it's the perfect blend too, of you giving back, but you continuing to learn different skills or different interactions. And that's actually a perfect segue into continuous growth. As you were talking about your path to leadership, I was actually thinking, wow, each time you went, whether it was to a suburban property or resort property, an airport property corporate managed an ownership. One, you're having to learn an entire new skillset. And that. In one way that we continue to grow is by hands-on by in our day-to-day roles. Where do you turn for other continuous growth, whether it's as a leader or the substantive nature of something you're looking for? I laugh about the COO role. When I had it, I was like, don't people go to school for operations? not really this type of operations. It's really having this tremendous, broad knowledge of how companies. And putting it all together. Yeah. So talk a little bit about your path and how that continuous growth for you is still
Tom Bardenett:achieved. I'm a I like to think about Picking up the phone and asking questions and making sure that you're in contact with people is a way that, is overlooked. I always think about, somebody knows something that I don't know, and I need to figure out how I can gather as much information so I can become more. So I think it's having a curious mind. goes back to, the way you think and how you want to gather information to be able to become more knowledgeable about whatever it is, a topic. Your point about, Coo. I didn't have an operations background. I had a sales background, but I think I was paying attention to all the general managers along the way. And, picking apart, what I really like and maybe what I don't and then how I wanted to react to what I thought I could be as a leader if I was an operations too, and to lead that way. But I think, I think there's many different ways to learn. You've got your peer group. I think about my peers within the REIT space when I became, a working with r lj, there was, 13, 14 different publicly traded REITs. I really stay in contact with them to learn the job, what they do, what they think is important, what analysts look like, what shareholders ask questions about. And then I think about the field, because I came from the third party management side, and I had so many interactions with, GMs Directors of sales, revenue managers housekeepers, as well as food and beverage. You can always learn from people in the field because they have the best ideas. They're closest to the customers. That's where our cash registers are. So just picking up the phone and calling and asking and seeing what their main initiatives are, their challenges are, is a great way to learn. I'm. All into email, but at the end of the day, I learn a lot more when I'm actually talking to somebody and they're letting their hair down a little bit and telling me what they know. And trying to gain knowledge throughout, depending upon different audiences. You can learn a lot from different people in different roles. Doesn't matter if they're above you at your level or at, rising and looking for opportunities to grow in their.
Rachel Humphrey:I love that advice too because one of the really special things about the hospitality industry is how we do work together so incredibly well. So reaching out to your peers, reaching out to people you think might be able to teach you something, you rarely have someone say no. I don't want to help you or I, they may redirect you to someone who knows better on a topic, but I love the idea of the peer-to-peer learning. I think that's really important as well. I wanna talk a little bit about taking risks, because certainly picking up and moving, although I made a joke about it earlier, he is very risky. So is leaving a company that you are very loyal to and you have built a tremendous career. Talk a little bit about how you go about processing or analyzing risk and some, you're gonna take, some, you may end up passing on, but what is your thought process as you tackle
Tom Bardenett:risks? So I think people who know me know that I have a positive bias which means. it's harder for me to identify risks because I tend to see the positive in things versus the danger. And I have to, sit back and listen because sometimes I'm always trying to think of the solution before I really need to understand the problem and then identify what the risk really are. Just being aware. Mindset that I have. I think that's critical for me to be able to first and foremost identify the risks so I don't go too far too fast and then all of a sudden say, oh, whoa, I need to pull the reins on that one. So I think I've always believed in speed to market and making sure we're making decisions and not, dillydallying too much to be able to, make sure sometimes execution's critical, but being strategic is just as critical. And therefore spending time really asking questions about. How did we get to this point in time? And then what are we trying to get to from an end solution? And then my job is to manage the in between, right? Yeah. So identifying where we're at and then what are we trying to get to? There's always plan B, and so to me it's about managing the middle. But you don't, you can't go too fast in identifying where am I at right now before we take that next step. And so I think it's slowing down for me, and then understanding what it is that we're trying to solve for. Really helps me to, try to solve the solution versus jumping right in and trying to just, make it go away. So that's one of the things I've learned in regards to when I take risks, make sure they're educated, do the work, and then once you're ready to go though, you gotta grab out of the wing and make it happen because they're not gonna let you slow down at that point in time. You need to make a decision and.
Rachel Humphrey:I love that advice because being thoughtful, being strategic, but also decisive in making the move is something that a lot of us can get held up on is, whether you're worried about not having the perfect answer or all of the information, but really taking that decisive step I think is a really critical lesson. And so thank you very much for sharing that. Something else we talk about in the industry a lot right now that seems. Forefront is mentors and champions. Have you had people along the way that you look to naming them or not that you can really identify as this person had a deep impact on my career trajectory or where I've ended up today?
Tom Bardenett:Yeah and I have no problem naming a few names. But at the end of the day I break it down into a couple categories. When I was in the field, I remember how it felt to go to the corporate office and how it was such a good feeling like I belonged to a company. Even though I was at one hotel, I wanted to be part of something bigger. And so one of the individuals who used to travel and come to our hotels who ran the Crossroads division, when. Telling you I moved from full service to select service by the name of Kevin Kill Carey. What I learned from him is when he went to the field, he would actually ask questions about you personally. How are you doing? He wouldn't lead with the numbers and it was fascinating cuz everybody. When corporate comes, they wanna tell you how good the month was or what your star report looked like, or your p and l. And he would always start with, how's your family? How's things, you enjoying where you're living. I I moved, I think it was in 10 years I moved seven different places. So I was, just raising my hand to go. So that was really important to me that somebody recognized me as an individual versus. Career advancement and what I'm trying to do. So I always learned a lot by the way he led and how he took a personal interest in you. And that really, always, cuz now when I'm in a corporate position, I'm in that role, right? And I wanna make sure that people realize I do really genuinely want to know. What makes them tick because we'll get to the numbers and that's gonna be important that you're hitting the numbers and you're producing the results. Especially as an owner, I have that lens when I come in, but I really wanna know, how are you doing and what is it that makes you tick that makes you really wanna, keep this job in advance in your career. And then the second thing I would say is I have had the luxury of having three women who were my direct reports in a leadership. And when I think about mentorship and all the things that I think about for our industry and what we do, I had the luxury of having my first boss in Orlando, she was the original New York City Convention and Visitors Bureau, director of sales. And that's not a small job, but when she was in Orlando, I learned a lot from her. I'm just being very strategic and market segments and everything that came to, really understanding the full breadth of all the opportunities that are out there to book business. And then my other. Person that you know, and I think you've met with more than a few times is Leslie. Hell. Of course. And you talk about inspiration and motivation. I will tell you that Leslie leads with, the numbers always tell a story. And so when we're talking about where we're trying to go or what we're trying to do to really be dedicated to thinking about, what is it that we're trying to achieve and understand where we're trying to go in regards to what. Looks like on paper. So we're trying to make sure that we're being strategic in regards to what we're ultimately trying to achieve. So I've been very fortunate to have some great opportunities to have mentors and continue to seek them out cuz I know that it's important to continue to evolve.
Rachel Humphrey:And that's such an important lesson to see too, that how much you can learn from and that those same individuals are willing to share that knowledge back to grow the team under them reflects a lot about their leadership style as well. You mentioned being inspired by, or learning from a leader who took a personal. In people and sometimes I share that. I think that might be how I have developed a lot of the relationships and networking that I have in this industry. I love talking about my family, your family, where you've traveled to recently, what sports team you're rooting for, and then of course there may be something business related to that. Do you find that you use that same strategy you just mentioned in going into the field now to build your relationship or with, or to build your network?
Tom Bardenett:Yeah. Before I answer the question, Yankees, Raiders and Celtics? Oh, Patriots.
Rachel Humphrey:Red Sox, Celtics,
Tom Bardenett:Oh, I love the fact that I got a Red Sox fan on the other fan Yeah we could share some stories offline, but that sounds good. But I would say you. people network in different ways. I always had the benefit of my dad was very competitive, very sports oriented. My communication, broadcasting career surrounded me around team games, right? And so I think about, having played baseball and basketball team games, they kept me out of the football field. I couldn't catch. But at the end of the day, I really enjoyed the team concept. And as I think about. It's the same thing. You have a peer group of people who are trying to produce the same result and we're all trying to win. So I really think about the networking that goes on within your own company. I love the fact that when I go to the field and I'm building relationships, you're really wanting to have people and influence behavior to try to drive results. And so one of my most important things that I found is, I think it was a training class I took. It talked about when you're actually with somebody, make sure you are with them. and be there with them. So sometimes you see people and look another way, or they're paying attention to everything else but the person they're with. And I think one of the most critical skills is when you're with somebody, make sure they feel like you're with them and you're listening to them. and I think that helps you build network and relationships where they will run through a wall for you if you're trying to, get results. Or even the board of trustees with a H L A. When we look to bring people on board, we wanna see people who are engaged in one of those programs and, why are they joining and what's. Personal to them so that we can get the most out of them. So I think networking is critical in building those relationships, but you really have to reciprocate and make sure they feel the same way that you do. It's not just a, one for one, it's a win-win situation based on the relationship that you have. I
Rachel Humphrey:absolutely love the advice of making sure that when you're present with someone, you are present with them. I definitely have not always been successful at that, nor on the receiving end of that, but I think it's so incredibly powerful, so impactful when it happens that's a great skill and a great piece of advice to offer. Continuing on this theme, personal growth. One of my favorite questions to always ask and be asked is what advice would you give to your younger self? And the reason is that I think that life is a lot about reflection, that we are this work in progress. So what would you tell 21 year old Tom, maybe even before you got in the car with your sister to make that move about how things ended up for you today? What would you say to yourself that might be a little bit different?
Tom Bardenett:I think when you're young, you are innocent and you are eager and you are willing. And I think. I made a mistake one time, then I think I dwelled on it, and I've learned, over the years that, don't sweat the small stuff. Get over it. Build a bridge and figure out how you're not gonna do that again, right? Because you're gonna make mistakes, right? At the end of the day, and at the end of the day, you're probably gonna learn more from the mistake you made than the successes you've had So I think I would probably not be as tough on myself in the early stages. I think that just comes from the competitive nature and wanting to win and did not like losing. So therefore I was probably tough on myself and maybe I, that's just in my d n a but at the end of the day I think I'd probably give myself a little bit more latitude and a learning curve to be able to say it's just gonna take a little bit more time. Cuz I was hungry and wanted more. So I think that would be one piece of advice I would probably give. If I was 21 again, That
Rachel Humphrey:brings up a another thing I wanna jump back to something you said earlier, this power of positive thinking. When you were talking about taking risks, it sounds like when you say we're gonna mess up what we learned from it, how do we move on? Is part of that personal mantra that you have too. So let's go back a second to overcoming challenges and obstacles. Is that the way that you tackle challenge? Not every single person is gonna have. sometimes on a daily basis of different magnitudes. Is that your strategy for getting past those setbacks or challenges?
Tom Bardenett:I always see. The end result faster than others. I think because I've seen so many obstacles, if you think about it in operations specifically, right? Sales and marketing, you either win or you don't. You get the piece of business, you don't, you gotta go, you gotta move on, right? Because at the end of the day, you're gonna get a lot of nos. And you just, you work through it because you become, a little bit numb to it, knowing that, all right, so I'll go get somebody else who wants to come, right? But in operations, it's constant that there's something that's gonna happen that you didn't plan for, and you're gonna have to figure out the end solution. So I just wanna make sure that when individuals come to me with problems or opportunities, whatever you wanna, that I don't solve it for them. And so it's really important that they go through the process that maybe I've had the luxury of because I've had so many challenges and times where I've had to figure it out that I wanna hear what they think and I wanna hear their lens because I might have solved it one way, but they might have had a whole different way of deciding it. I think about, I've had, so many different owners that I worked for before I got into this position. Everybody wants to have a budget and they have an opinion about how much that should be. And at the end of the day, you're trying to make sure that you're providing good guidance and leading them in a way that they feel like you're, I sending the team and the field, the owner's getting what they want. And so I've always thought about it's a two-way street in regards to how you come up with the solution around that, that process. And I always like that time of year cuz it's time to look back and the time to look forward to see what can we. That maybe we didn't do last year. And so I do think the positive bias works well for me in that way. I just remember I gotta slow down cause, cause I do try to get to the solution sometimes too fast and I really need to take my time and I think that helps me to be able to hear what others think versus me just, oh yeah, I know what the solution is there cuz I've had that issue before. I'm just gonna tell you. No, and
Rachel Humphrey:I love the idea cuz that's how you will develop future leaders is by having them learn whatever process works well for them and not doing it for
Tom Bardenett:them. And then all of a sudden it's the aha moment and they're like, oh, and they didn't realize coming in, they actually could have solved it themselves.
Rachel Humphrey:No, I love that. And it's empowering cuz then they have figured it out and they can take that moment with them moving forward.
Tom Bardenett:I love when they say, I don't need you anymore. I'm good.
Rachel Humphrey:We have of course run short on time, which I knew we would, I could talk with you all day long, but I'm keeping in mind the motto of d e i advisors to empower personal success. Is there one final piece of advice you would leave our listeners with?
Tom Bardenett:Yeah, I think you. I've really enjoyed what you guys are doing at Rachel, David and Lon and you're taking the time to have people tell their story, which hopefully is gonna help others figure out their way, and the, on a path to leadership, if you will. And so I think once you've gone through. This experience and you've been in the industry for so long, it's time to give back. And yes, I'm busy. I have an incredibly important job and I really love what I do, but my secondary role is I need to pay it forward. And how do I choose to do that, I think is critical in regards to how I can engage in the industry that gave so much to me. And so that's why a H L A is important to me. When I think about the mentoring and networking and making sure that I'm offering career guidance and apprenticeship atmosphere for the people in the field or even in our office, I take that incredibly seriously in regards to building that. And so I think the final advice I would give is, think about others respect their differences. And share what you know, and be open to listen and respect their thoughts and lens, because there's a lot to go to be able to get to the, the answers that you're looking for in your career, in your personal life. And I also would say that, I'm very fortunate. I have a supportive wife for 34 years. Two wonderful kids and it's great to have a family just like I did when I grew up with five kids. Being able to have them, involved in everything that we do. And it's been fun to be able to have this, journey together.
Rachel Humphrey:That is an incredible way to end our time together. Tom, on behalf of the hospitality industry as a whole, but also for me personally, thank you for your continued leadership. Thank you for your leadership through the h l a foundational work that is so critically important to the industry. But also thanks for sharing your story and your insights today in support of d e i advisor.
Tom Bardenett:Rachel, thanks so much. And we'll talk offline about Yankees, Boston. I know that there's a conversation to be had here,
Rachel Humphrey:Absolutely. And to our listeners, thank you so much for tuning in today. If you like what we, you heard, we hope you'll head on over to d e i advisors.org and listen to the. More than 70 interviews we have had with some of the hospitality industries leading advisors. You can also stream our podcasts on any of your available streaming channels. So thank you for tuning in. And Tom, thank you again.
Tom Bardenett:Take care, Rachel. Talk to you soon. Bye-Bye.